i pray....

dear Lord,

tonight i pray.
i pray that the sun will be brighter tomorrow.
i pray the night would be less lonely.
i pray that i'd do right with my life.
i pray i'd think right.
not with my heart, but with my mind.
i pray i'd make the right choice.
unaffected by emotions, based on past experience.
the past has opened my eyes,
i pray i wont be deluded by feelings.
i pray i wont fail to see pass the facade of things.
i pray i wont fall prey to the wrath of love.
i pray i'd have the wisdom and strength.
come what way, i'd face the storm.
in the name of the Lord i pray,
AMEN

mayhem

the month of may.

it's almost the mid of the year, as much as i've said this before.
as much as it's become inevitable,
it never fails to surprise me how time flies.

this month, i've been with him for a month.
this month, marks the start of my finals.
this month, has been chaotic.

so much has happened, not sure if i could keep up.

things have changed, not sure if i could comprehend.

alteration defies constance.

it's not change that i seek.

if only things could stay the same, even if it's just one day.

when a rock turns into gem,

when beauty turns into beast,

when things turn sour,

what could i possibly turn to?

hidden at a corner,

secretly lurking,

silently stalkin,

threatening to consume,

to devour should i allow it.

FEARs.

stop you ascend.

i fear that things will change.

i fear i'd stand alone.

i fear that it will end.

i fear that i would stop.

i fear that he would quit.

i fear that i'd oblige.

i fear that i'd stay.

i fear that i'd fall.

for the past weeks,

things have not been smooth.

it's hard to realise within a month,

how we're so alike and different.

while things were so magnetic at first,

we're starting to repel, i swear i feel it.

of all the things that convinced me much,

i think i'm starting to sway.

help me find my reasons to stay.

convince me of otherwise.

simply because,

i WANT to.

baby news

old habits die hard,
and mine would be??
blogging only when something's bugging me.

first up, i've been trying to keep things discreet,

low key,

low profile.

not an easy feat when u're living in penang.

*sorry ting, wanted to let things stabilise first*

if there should be any news,

i'm out of my 3-year-long dating hiatus.

it took me two weeks to dive head first into it after two weeks of knowing him

not my usual, typical stunt.

NOTHING close to it.

but i did it somehow.

dont know why,

dont know how i was convinced.

it's just not so typical of me.

yet,

nothing's typical of this relationship.

sometimes people say things,

though they've asked us to take no offence.

sometimes we just cant help but to wince.

*you know, you never fail to make me feel like an ugly duckling*

_i truly mean it_