.

i'm fucking frustrated with what has become of us.
every damn day, i feel like tears are just waiting to run free from em eyes.
i dont need you,
i dont want it,
yet i cant bring myself to leave you,
WHY,
god-damn-it

why cant i do it?!?!

when every fucking day i feel so disconnected,

unappreciated,

a freaking wall flower.

i WANT to end this.

i'm alive...still.

dear lord,
this time around, i need more moo-lah..
there are too many pretty things laying around,
waiting to be adorned,
and i,
can only do so if i have the ka-ching=)
=) =) =)

there're too many things that i NEED.
i had to capitalise the word to show the urgency and truth to it.
mind you,
not want,
but NEED.
*i'm sure you get the point by now*

so, ive been slpin at 4-5 am every night lately..
ahh, slowly killing my skin.
what to do?
yesterday, i laid awake,
suddenly sylvia ganush of drag me to hell came to my mind.
she's one heck of a scary old lady.
fortunately, i have enough thoughts of pretty bags to get her off my mind
eek...slimy flam...*shivers*

other than that,
so very happy cause so many ppl are gona be back.
lin's leaving today tho..
but, others are arriving today or tmr...HAPPINESSS=)

ahemmm...just if you're wondering,
b4 you make assumptions that miss yeoh's unhappy,
just cause i'm actually blogging,
no worries,
these days,
i've been at ease...
painfully blissful,i'd say.
not in a state of bliss,
but not terribly depressed.
they take alternate turns.
so, i'm pretty much numb by now.
things had been stressful, every weekend, i wonder if we're gona fight,
which means not spending the entire weekend together,
or if we're gona b okay,
which means, we'd probably spend the whole weekend together.
people ask,
how do i stand it? not knowing when he'll blow or not?
my answer:
drama's my middle name. ( i happen to have a lot of them, i've realised)

=)